A matter of respect

Something irritates me about the Kemetic community. Others might not agree with me, some people won’t understand me on this specific point either. However, of late I have begun too feel it all again.  I won’t often criticize the Kemetic Community, I hate having any disapproval I feel and I question my right too do so, its not for people too judge after all. Yet the way this is gone about, irritates me greatly.

What is it thats got me so annoyed? A seeming lack of respect for the gods in most modern pagan circles. I don’t mean, occasionally not being able too succeed in things you strive for, failure is natural and only a temporary thing. Rather, I mean the lack of reverence some people seem too have.

When describing a deity, I can understand the use of words like “Sexy” as a descriptive term, but when on facebook and seeing the image of two deities (Both of whom I consider the ones I love before life itself Along with Qebhet) kissing and having intercourse, that aren’t consorts, and are likely some furries daydream, filled with people who are apparently Devotee’s saying things that are just…ugh…

I’m not “Restricted” or afraid of mixing religious sexuality. I’m a sex magician, I’ve practiced sexual worship of my gods and make it into a tool to increase the amount of love I feel for them. But the image, after thinking about it, just seems wrong. Its things like this that make it awkward for me too interact with others in our community. On the page, a man was critisized by others for taking the picture “Too seriously”, and I immediately wanted too punch the poster in the face and more. How can you take your faith too seriously? The thing that for me, is the most important thing in my life, what I fucking live for, the one thing that keeps me from being depressed, and someone is saying that you can take it too seriously?

They are our gods, the ones who created us, what right do we, have too treat them so…Casually? Acknowledging them in our day too day life is fine, some people dislike ritual and only wish too worship the gods. With that, how can anyone complain? It is not about that kind of devotee I feel any form of ill will too, rather the ones who fail too show at least a basic amount of respect. Here  I will actually perform my ONLY ever Aleister Crowley quote, as its the only book I’ve ever slightly enjoyed or trusted from him. Roughly it says too treat them as “A slave too his lord, a Vassal to his liege, a child too his parent, a priest unto his god, a brother as a brother,  a friend, as a friend, as a lover too his mistress” (Libre Astarte, a book on devotion) A relationship of Awe, devotion and passion. The first thing, Awe, implies respect. Yet for many this is a missing part of their practice.

I don’t mean the occasional warm jokes that I see from my friends in the Kemetic circle, sometimes I’ll grind my teeth a little but never think badly of the person truly for it, because when you look at it, its a way of affection. But rather, those who think its okay too twist the symbolic power of the gods, too make new “Appearances” and beliefs just to satisfy their own desires, it makes me sick. It reminds me of the new age manner of taking a belief and throwing half of the apple away, then sticking whats left too a Banana peel and calling it a Bannana split.

People that insult the gods, so openly, or make them appear into their own delusions, remember, they are above us, the ones who made us, gave us life and form…show some reverence instead of ridiculous comments every now and then, show some respect.

I may be seen as an asshole for this, and I would probably put how annoyed I am, down too the fact that I come from a Ceremonial Magic system, where if treated like this, some of those spirits would eat you and break you in half. But just because the gods we love are more tolerant, doesn’t make any of it right…




The Ecstasy of hatred

Hatred is often seen as an inferior emotion, something lesser than love. Supposedly, it is detrimental too magical work. Many people would say that, and I would have too disagree with them.

Ever since I began my path, Hate has played a part in it, its role, to keep me moving, keeping me working. Those who deny its strength, have no sense of power. I do not deny love being the more powerful between the two, yet I do not fully see them as opposites or as comparable forces. Within hatred, you bring to fore the conquering urges, that which brings you victory. It is raw power, something that stirs up inside of you and shakes you, forcing you, dominating you, purifying and if great enough, driving you. It is a tool, like every other emotion, to be sharpened and honed until it is strong enough and mastered. It is difficult too control, and would be comparable to a muzzled attack dog, dragging on its leash. However, when focused upon the self, it becomes a most powerful source of inspiration that can lead too feats you would be incapable off without.

Hatred, accompanies love at all times. If one opposes something you love, you will strike out at it, even the most timid will protect what he truly loves. Therefore, when one falls to weakness, becomes redundant, unable too succeed, he must learn too hate himself, to love his strength and despise his inability. Within this cage of wrath, the weakness is burned away, hurting and torturing the owner, yet also purifying him of his pathetic state.

Life isn’t easy, we have too suffer. Nearly all problems (Nearly because, some things cannot be helped such as illness at birth) are caused by us, either by inability to deal with the problem, a lack of action/intelligence/desire or even the presence of one of these three things, mistakes are made and people are taught too get over it, not too feel guilty.

This is right, in some cases. However at others, it is our responsibility to realize that we could of changed this, too take that responsibility and change yourself with it, acknowledging the failure and cutting deep with hatred into yourself until you realize how truly weak you are, how pitiful is your existence? that you are barely worthy of anything, and with this shame, you will aspire to conquer, your hatred will bless you as a double edged sword, and the pain will lead to victory over weakness. Fashioning a stronger, more powerful person. Despise everything, from thoughts of laziness  too desire. Refuse too indulge in pleasure whilst in this state, let despair and loneliness embrace you, holding you too cold and heartless breasts, for though no warmth comes from them, it is here that the sweetest milk is gathered, and when you have drunk your fill, enchain them, smash them aside and stand stronger than you did before.

With self hate, you can build yourself up, make yourself strong by destroying what is waste, what is not useful and detrimental. It can conquer desires or urges of the most vulgar nature, no matter how wrong they are. No matter how wrong one is, no matter how damaged they are, with this can a sanctuary be created, somewhere that weakness cannot penetrate…

With this post, I will become unlikable too some people, perhaps even disgusting. I do not tailor what I write too fit the idea’s of others, and if you do not acknowledge any worth or merit in my words then that is your choice. If you wish to debate the issue with me, feel free too comment. I am open to disagreement and would appreciate the chance to learn and evolve.

A new blog

Lets get arrogant, lets talk about this blog and myself for a bit, seeing as this is the first post here.

I’m a Kemetic, and also a Ceremonial Magician. I’m a religious follower of the Neteru, and aim my practice to liken myself too them and create Ma’at within both myself and the world around me. I have practiced a few systems, despite only 3 years of practice, although this has cost me much focus and ability in any one specific area, of late I have begun too base my art on a few specific systems.

My primary practice is Kemetic Ritual, including worship of the gods and identification with them to bring the sphere of sensation (The Ka) into the higher realms, that their power may be integrated and built into it, until the Ka is great in its image. (Hence, I would percieve Heka, often translated as activating the Ka, too be an attempt at bringing this power into the sphere of sensation and utilizing it). This is often used in Ceremonial Magick, as we see in the Golden Dawn Initiation rituals, where the Magi integrates the symbols of his grade into his bodies that they may influence him. This is where comparison with the two ends for me though, and I do not wish too compare them any further (Comparison between traditions, taken too deep always leads to complications that could be avoided. No two systems are the same, despite the claim of many. The usage of academic and personal sources generally attests too that fact)

My usage of this ancient belief is primarily Reconstructionist based, however as someone who does not have the ability others do when it comes to reading academic books, I struggle in terms of the finer details of life (Practice, symbology, beliefs etc I can read about. Rather things such as daily life, or historical events, I struggle with).

As well as practicing Kemetic Ritual, I am also a user of John Dee’s Enochian magic. (If I had any goal, it would be to do as Im-hotep, and the prophet Enoch did, too raise myself into the heights of the divine. Hence my attraction too this specific system). The system is potent, and has caused me to burnout for a massive period of time due too overuse for someone who hasn’t hardened himself too this system and is open too being overpowered by it. Here’s a hint, trying to work through the Nigredo and the Albedo via Enochian, is not a good first time full on dive into the system. Just like a toddler in armbands can’t handle the oceans currents when it comes too swimming.

These two systems are the ones I am closest too, in my work I make use of Alchemical transformation, energetic work, Talismanic creation, Invocation, Solar Worship, Divination, Evocation and most importantly Prayer. The most important tool of all, during prayer the emotion felt becomes overpowering, life giving. In prayer is connection, devotion, and love found, it is here I find, that true power reigns.

The love I have for my gods and the sheer power of both traditions make sure that I never leave them, as without them I have no purpose or intent in life .

I should note, that I have troubles with morals, my views may cause anger or hate in others and this is fine. Disagree with me, prove me wrong and I will admit it. Human life if it is not one I have created attachment too, it is cheap for me. I do not deny the pleasures of life, and indulge in them reguarly, my life is everything the conservative christian despises, for I dwell in a body of self pleasures, a palace of ecstatic “sin”. Yet at the same time I strive the perfection of the secrets the divine holds inside it, even if I never reach such a thing, it is impossible to stop. I strive for strength, power and balance. I am Power hungry, arrogant, often wrong and lusting, I do not deny that, I havn’t reached my goal yet, to lie about it would be weakness which I despise…